


The Only Way

by cosmicaddress



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Because obviously he can't immediately be okay, But Michael helps, Gen, Jeremy has issues after the squip, Self-Esteem Issues, boyf riends if you squint, self-deprecation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 15:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13526952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicaddress/pseuds/cosmicaddress
Summary: "That's not what I wanted!""It's the only way to achieve what you want!"Jeremy can't stop thinking about why the Squip thought taking over the entire school was the only way he could be more chill.





	The Only Way

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I'm Abbie and I'm brand new to posting on AO3. I posted this on ff.net a few weeks ago and came to make an account here when I discovered the whole invitation process, so it was quite the wait.
> 
> Anyways, I've been getting into musicals lately, and I absolutely love Be More Chill. I was listening to The Play and I heard the line "It's the only way to achieve what you want!" and I just had to write this, so I hope y'all enjoy this!
> 
> The dialogue in the beginning is taken directly from the script, so dialogue during the events of the play does not belong to me, and neither do the characters, only the plot.

"What's wrong with me now?" Jeremy could only watch dejectedly as Christine's face fell. Maybe if he worded it differently, maybe he could make her see...

"Miss Canigula!" Mr. Reyes swept into the room in Jeremy's costume. "Props has whipped up a fresh beaker of Puck's Pansy Serum. Oh...Mr. Heere. I suppose you'll be wanting your costume back."

"I have to go, Jeremy," Christine grabbed the beaker and began to leave before he could say anything else about the pill.

"Christine, wait! Shit. Shit! What did I do?" Jeremy sighed and ran his hands through his hair. When he moved it away, he saw that the Squip had reappeared.

"It's okay, Jeremy. I anticipated her resistance," the Squip said. Jeremy narrowed his eyes. Nothing seemed to be right anymore, the Squip always had ideas of what would happen and never told him.

"Then why did you let me say all that stuff?!" Jeremy asked incredulously. How the hell could turning Christine against him accomplish any of his goals?

"So you'd see for yourself what's necessary," replied the Squip in that cutting, persuasive tone he seemed to be using more and more. "Not everyone is as open to change as you were. Offering them all a choice would simply delay the result we desire."

"No, she's right," Jeremy turned away. "I don't think I can do this. We should put these back in Rich's locker, and— what happened to the rest of the Squips?"

Jeremy stared into the now-empty shoebox and slowly looked at the Squip in fear.

"I anticipated your resistance too, Jeremy. So I took the decision out of your hands."

 

Minutes later saw Jeremy on the ground after realizing that the Pansy Serum was Squips waiting to be activated. He looked up just to see Brooke reaching for the Mountain Dew.

"Brooke, no—" But it was too late. As the Squip held Jeremy back, Brooke had drank the soda and ran off, suddenly spouting out her lines perfectly.

"You're going to Squip the whole cast," Jeremy turned toward the Squip in horror.

"And that's just for starters," The Squip smirked.

"That's not what I wanted!" Jeremy shouts desperately searching for an answer as to how to stop his Squip. All he had wanted was to not feel like a loser, and this was apparently life showing him how it was too much to ask.

"It's the _only_ way to achieve what you want."

 

"It's useless resisting, Jeremy," the Squip said bitingly. "I'm going to improve your life if I have to take over the entire student body to do it!"

Jeremy was shoved across the room, powerless, until Michael made an entrance.

 

(One day later)

Jeremy sighed as he laid back in bed. According to the doctors, all he had needed was rest, and so they had released him earlier that day. Good thing too, or they would have noticed the scars lining his back that had popped up fairly quickly. He suspected the Squip had something to do with them not having shown up before, but he honestly had no idea. He was just thankful that his dad hadn't found out. He wasn't sure how he could begin to explain them.

His thoughts then drifted to the Squip. He _knew_ it was gone, it had to be. Michael had done his research, confirming Rich's frantic search for Mountain Dew Red, and he had saved them all. Michael had saved Jeremy.

But sometimes he thought he could hear it. Even now, he could feel his spine tingling, the Squip telling him to sit up straight, to not be so lazy as to be in bed in the middle of the day. Jeremy slowly sat up. He could feel its eyes glancing over his cardigan and Apocalypse of the Damned t-shirt, drawing his attention to the Eminem shirt draped over his desk chair. Jeremy quickly shut his eyes and drew his knees into his chest.

" _Jeremy..._ "

" _Jeremy..._ "

" _I anticipated your resistance too, Jeremy. So I took the decision out of your hands._ "

Jeremy squeezed his legs tighter. Just the thought of the Squip having any control over his body sickened him. He still remembered being motionless as Brooke drank the squipped Mountain Dew, being shocked as he flailed around instead of being able to help his cast-mates. Then he remembered the other things that had been said.

" _That's not what I wanted!_ "

" _It's the only way to achieve what you want!_ "

" _It's useless resisting, Jeremy. I'm going to improve your life if I have to take over the entire student body to do it!_ "

Jeremy slowly opened his eyes. While the Squip often hid its actions from Jeremy, would it really lie about accomplishing its objective? The Squip wouldn't lie about Jeremy. _It's the only way to achieve what you want. I'm going to improve your life if I have to take over the entire student body to do it._

Why would the Squip lie about Jeremy? The only thing that Jeremy could think what that it didn't. He always knew he was a loser, but he had also always hoped for better days. Like Michael said, guys like them were cool in college. But was that really true? He didn't even feel like he had Michael to lean on anymore. Maybe Michael had been with him at the hospital, but could he really want to be friends with Jeremy after everything that had happened? After everything that Jeremy had done? After realizing what Jeremy was?

Jeremy's breathing sped up. The Squip was right. If taking over the entire student body was really the only way for Jeremy to be more chill, then he really was a lost cause. He was a loser.

_If this is going to work, you can't just listen. You have to obey. Now repeat after me:_

_Everything about you is so terrible._

"Everything about me is just terrible."

_Everything about you makes me want to die._

"Everything about me makes me want to die."

A tear slid down Jeremy's cheek as he sat ramrod straight in his bed, mumbling the words repeatedly.

 

Michael stood outside the Heeres' door, slightly rocking back and forth. He knew the the Squip had done a lot of terrible things to Jeremy, but it was all he could to to not turn tail and run. Thinking of his favorite person, Michael quickly raised his fist and knocked on the door before he could change his mind.

"Oh, hey, Mr. Heere," Michael said a few moments after the door opened. He still couldn't get used to the idea of the man wearing pants. "Can I see Jeremy?"

"Of course, Michael," Mr. Heere smiled warmly. "He should be resting, but I'm sure seeing you will help him more than anything. You can go check up on him in his room right now."

"Thanks," Michael flashed a grin and made his way inside and up the stairs, stopping just outside of Jeremy's room. He had thought about this before arriving. He and Jeremy would need to talk about everything that happened at some point, but he knew that that wasn't good to start with the day after. Jeremy didn't need that right now. So Michael had brought Kazoozles (he refused to call them SweeTarts Soft & Chewy Ropes in respect for Jeremy's favorite snack, which had been renamed in order for Nestle to capitalize on the SweeTarts brand name) as well as a link for Spider-Man Homecoming that would not give their laptops viruses if they were careful. Hopefully a normal day for Jeremy would ease them back into things first. He knocked lightly on the door as he swung it open.

"Yo, Jeremy, I got some Kazoo—" Michael was striding into the room confidently with a smile that soon disappeared when his gaze turned to the bed. "Jeremy!"

He ran over to Jeremy, who was sitting straight up and mumbling. Michael leaned closer to hear the words.

"Everything about me is just terrible, everything about me makes me want to die..." Michael felt sick. He'd known that the Squip was telling Jeremy what to say and what to do, but he'd never even considered what it was saying to him. Was this really what Jeremy had been subjected to that whole time?

"Jeremy, listen to me, man," Michael grabbed Jeremy by the shoulders and brought him into a hug. "You gotta snap out of it, okay? The Squip is gone, and it was wrong, okay? Nothing about you is terrible, you're perfect, and you're the person who makes me want to live. Please, Jeremy, listen to me. You're amazing. Just breathe with me, okay? Breathe with me."

Jeremy's breathing started to slow as he leaned against Michael's chest. Michael wrapped his arms around the boy tighter. His eyes traveled to Jeremy's neck and he gasped as he saw angry pink marks poking out of his shirt.

"Jeremy...what happened to your back?" Michael's heart pounded in his chest as he leaned back and searched his best friend's face for answers. Jeremy only looked down.

"I used to slouch," That was all that Jeremy said, but it was all that Michael needed to hear before throwing himself around his player two again.

"Jeremy, you listen to me, you did not deserve that," Michael's voice cracked as he thought of the _torture_ that his best friend had gone through. The torture that that thing had put him through. "Okay? It had no right to do that to you, because you are great the way you are. You get to decide who you are, and whoever that is is perfect. You did not deserve that."

"How can you even say that?" Jeremy croaked, throat dry. "How can you be so accepting? After everything I did, after everything I said, how can you want to help me?"

"Jeremy," Michael said. "Look at me."

Jeremy looked up at Michael.

"I forgive you," Michael stated, gazing into Jeremy's eyes, trying to gauge his reaction. "Yeah, what happened sucked, and maybe what you did wasn't okay, but I forgive you."

"Really?" Jeremy sounded like a small child, and Michael almost wanted to chuckle before he remembered why his best friend was so vulnerable.

"Know that you are my favorite person," Michael responded sincerely.

"Is it really true—" A small grin began to form on Jeremy's face. "I'm your favowite pewson?"

"Yeah, we're never not gonna be a team," Michael grinned back. "I found a link for Spider-Man Homecoming online, we totally gotta watch it and discuss how Tom Holland is somehow great as both Peter Parker and Spider-Man, unlike his predecessors. Kazoozle?"

He knew that everything wasn't going to just go back to the way it was. He knew that the two of them wouldn't be okay for a while. But, knowing that, he knew that they would be.

They were player one and player two, and they were never not going to be a team.


End file.
